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A month later, the call came. Mariana said that Dad had collapsed at the kitchen table one Saturday. He was sitting in his usual spot by the back stairs and fell to the floor toward the sink. He was conscious and not frightened. Mariana had called 911, and Dad was in intensive care. He was hospitalized approximately 4 days. At first my father was lucid and could talk. He worsened, and went on oxygen support with a tracheal tube, which prevented him from talking. Thus his last hours were spent without speaking. He could recognize people and look at them when friends and Mariana came into the room, but whatever he wanted to say was lost. Mariana called me repeatedly in Illinois, while I made preparation to come to D.C. I talked to my father's doctor telling him the same that Mariana told him: we wanted no extraordinary measures taken to prolong his life. If he could not survive on his own, then he should die. We knew Dad would not want to live as an invalid, either in bed or in a wheelchair, probably in a nursing home. We believed in his dignity, and knew how much he valued his independence. I did not want Mariana to have the burden of watching Dad living in a debilitated state, and I would be no where around to help. If I were Dad, I too would want to die. 1 think he was surprised he lived so long after Mom died. He waited 12 years to be with Mom; he was always patient. |
